Five minutes after I was on the bus for the three hour ride, I began to feel like I was ready to throw up. I was about ready to bail out—but—too late! The doors closed and we were off. I was trapped! No bathroom…no chance of stopping…. So I dragged out my duffel bag, found my plastic bag with toothbrush, dumped it out, and got ready, just in case! I was feeling worse by then…the bus, jiggling and bumping…the smoke wafting from the smoker one row behind me…the hot air…but, I thought “I’ve been in this shape before, and I’ve made it through without losing it.” Then I thought, “Yes, but sometimes I didn’t make it through—like the time on the deep sea boat in Seattle.”
But then, I thought, “Yes, but that was really the only time, and very seldom do I really throw up. Almost never.” But then I thought, “what about the time I got drunk and threw up without even realizing it?” And so on.
I kept looking at my watch: two hours, fifty-five minutes to go. Two hours, fifty minutes. Two hours, forty minutes… I closed my eyes and tried to remember song lyrics, to keep my mind off it. I looked at my watch: Two hours! One third done!
Could I make it? I had to. No stopping. I looked around to see what other passengers were there, how embarrassed I’d be if I puked. I closed my eyes again.
Then…miracle! After half way through, the feeling started to go away. I started feeling like—well, maybe I wouldn’t throw up. Bu wait! It made little stabs back again! Just to warn me! Soon, though, I was clearly better. I knew I’d make it then. I put the plastic bag away.
Whew! So much for the bus trip to Oxford. When I arrived, I still wasn’t feeling very good, and felt very stupid and a poor guest, but what could I do? Helen and I walked through a few Oxford colleges. I had half a salad for lunch, then I begged off time for a couple hours’ sleep at St. Catherine’s College, where she had reserved a guest room for me. After the nap—I felt some better, and we went out do dinner.
— Feb. 7, 1988, Cambridge, England. [Helen was a friend, originally from Moorhead, who attended Oxford at the same time I was at Cambridge.]
OtD 